Archive for the 'Communication' Category

by Angie Macdonald

My associate at ZenGuide.co.uk who specialises in web writing and communication, Angie Macdonald, offers some tips on improving your written communications, especially when emailing and using other online spaces.

Angie writes:

Have you heard the one about the two psychoanalysts who bump into each other on the street. One says to the other, “Good morning. How are you?” And the other one thinks, “I wonder what he meant by that?”

We’ve all had that experience. We read an email from someone and it makes us sit back because this person seems rude, abrupt, aggressive, sarcastic or brusque. You read a phrase or a sentence and you think, “I wonder what they meant by that?” because you feel that they are getting it at you or making a dig at you. Your perception of this person changes and you may start to dislike them.

When it comes to writing business emails, it’s worth taking your time if you don’t want to have that effect on your recipient.

Check what you’ve written and rewrite parts if you need to, before clicking on send. In fact, it’s not only emails. Any written interaction, whether it’s commenting on a blog, instant messaging on Skype, or writing on friends’ Facebook walls can benefit from taking your time to make sure you use the right words and right tone to say what you mean.

Ask yourself: How are your words going to be perceived by your recipient?

The person reading your email isn’t going to be able to see you smiling and they won’t be able to hear your lighthearted or ironic tone or sense your attitude. All they’ve got to go on are your written words. Delivered and read in silence. What if they take it the wrong way?

How many people read an email, feel offended or confused, and pick up the phone to the author? “Hi John, I’ve just read your email and I wondered if in line 2 where you say such and such, if you really meant to insult me?” Not many, I’m guessing.

So you may never know that your email sent off in haste has offended, upset or angered someone. But you may find that your friendship or business relationship with them may cool in the future for no apparent reason.

Or you may find that the person comes back at you all guns blazing because they have been offended, upset or angered when you didn’t mean to have that effect on them at all. Trying to untangle that and reconcile in those circumstances can be exhausting for all concerned.

And what about spelling and punctuation in emails? Some people think that because email is an informal communication medium it’s okay to conduct business in broken English, without the need for spelling, punctuation. Some people use the same language they use for sms text messaging. On a mobile phone it makes sense to abbreviate but in an email? It can be perceived as laziness or sloppiness, especially in a business context - and that can be damaging to your reputation over the long term.

It’s easier to communicate effectively if you know and understand a little about the person you’re communicating with. You can then tailor your words to their personality – treat a matter seriously if you know it’s important to them, wish them a good holiday if you know they’re going away. Or ask them to do something in such a way they feel it’s their decision to do it.

Here are are a few points you can bear in mind next time you have to draft an email.

# Take your time
# Read your communication from the recipient’s point of view
# Be sure what it is you want to communicate and what response you’d like from the other person
# Be consistent in your approach and style
# If you use capitals people will think you’re shouting at them.

Whatever you do, don’t let your emails reflect badly on you. A little time spent planning what you want to say can save a lot of misunderstanding later.

Photo: thanks to ronsho on flickr.com (CCL)

What if we were to hook up with old friends in real life the way we do on Facebook? What if we related to our friends in the real world as if we were on Facebook?

This video gives us a taste of what may lie ahead for our friendships…

We met up with some friends recently whom we had not seen for almost 18 months even though they live in London. That’s part of the London thing - everyone is so busy that it’s difficult to make time to meet up and before you know it, several months - and even years - have passed. For this meet-up, we had to put it in our diaries almost 4 months in advance as it was a matter of co-ordinating 4 diaries and different work patterns and commitments.

We were all so delighted when we finally did meet for a meal last week at Carluccio’s. We talked non-stop, catching up on what we’d all been doing and letting the conversation flow whichever way it fancied - writing, literature, social media, karate, running, health, throwing out old clothes… At the end of the evening, we promised not to leave it so long next time and planned to meet again before too long. I really hope that we will stick to our good intentions as I really enjoy the company of these friends.

I’ve been blogging about “friends” for a couple of weeks now, especially in the context of Facebook and meeting up with these real friends made me think about how my friendships in recent years have evolved since the arrival of social media into my life.

One of the reasons we had not been much in contact with these friends we met at Carluccio’s was that they are not very wired - we’ve exchanged a few emails over time but mainly to do with arranging when we next meet. One of them does not have a working email address. They are both too busy to spend much time online.

In contrast, Angie and I both love emailing, Skype, instant messaging, reading and writing blogs and do spend some time of Facebook even though we’re not great fans of it. Consequently, we have tended to keep up with those friends who are easy to connect with in these digital spaces. More than that, these digital connections have strengthened many relationships which might not have otherwise thrived. I’ve got to know my cousin who lives in Bath so much better in the last two years than in the 40+ years that we’ve been cousins - she and her husband are the most wired couple we know and as a result of Twittering, blogging and Skyping, we come across each other’s daily inconsequentials. Because of her tweets, I know when she takes the kids to the pool and what she’s making for dinner: not the most exciting news but it’s the kind of thing that if she were in my neighbourhood, we might natter about over the garden fence. It’s the small things that can nurture long friendships as much as the deep conversations about life, the universe and everything.

With my non-wired friends, I make a conscious effort to phone them, especially those who live in the Midlands or Yorkshire or Wales or elsewhere far from London, and it’s great to have a long chat over the phone. But it takes a lot of conscious effort - it has to be in the evening after work but not during dinner time and also not too late (I’ve never been sure when “too late” is - 10pm and after?). You also have to hope that you are both on good form so you can have a good conversation - long silences and flat exchanges over the phone are just too awkward. And then after you’ve psyched yourself up for all this, you get the answermachine and you have to leave a message and then it’s up to them to call you back and hopefully, they won’t get your answermachine - and so the game of telephone tag goes on until you both are home at the same time. Whew, exhausting!

Or worse. They don’t call you back. Uh-oh. Does that mean they are snubbing you? They are too busy to call back? They meant to but they’ve forgotten? They are in the throes of a crisis and it’s not the right time for a chat? Or you left your message on someone else’s answermachine - after all it was that electronic lady’s voice on the voicemail and not your friend’s voice…? Do you call again? How many times should you call again before you become a friendship stalker?

You see, it’s all too fraught, this old-fashioned telephone thing, lovely though it is when we do manage to speak. I’d love to persuade these dear but unwired friends into the world of online connection but could I? What will bring them round to the digital way of doing things? Should I even try?

Photo: thanks to Rev Dan Catt from flickr.com (CCL)

The British Psychological Society’s blog points to a research study that has found that a company’s profits are linked to the facial appearance of the Chief Executive. Apparently, “Companies tend to be more profitable if they have a chief executive with a face rated by observers as being more competent, dominant and mature.”

It’s not about age or beauty, it seems, but these other qualities of competence, dominance and maturity that are evident in the face and are somehow linked to the company’s success.

I was reminded of the US presidential race in 1992 when short little Ross Perot was knocked out after the three way debate against tall, handsome Bill Clinton and square-jawed George Bush Sr. Next to them, he looked like one of those money-grubbing small creatures with big ears in Star Trek (the Ferrengi?). America just could not picture him as their leader, representing the most powerful nation on earth alongside the leaders of other countries. He might have had the competence, dominance and maturity to have headed a business empire with a personal net worth of $4.4 billion but that paled into insignificance when he stood beside two tall, good-looking guys who exuded even more competence, dominance and maturity.

But I also thought of Bill Gates, of Microsoft fame, another billionaire who was ranked the richest person in the whole world between 1995 and 2007. He started his empire young, looking nerdy and with a bad dress sense. His speaking voice has a nasal whine. He hasn’t changed much over the years. He looks more like an office clerk than the one time richest man on earth.

And there’s Mark Zuckerberg who created Facebook and who is said to be worth $1.5 billion and is only 25. He looks like a kid. He is a kid! Where’s the competence, dominance and maturity oozing from him?

Maybe with IT and social media, there’s an inverse correlation between these qualities and the company’s success?

Photo credits:

Perot et al, from record.wustl.edu
Bill Gates from niall kennedy on flickr.com (CCL)
Mark Zuckerberg from Laughing Squid on flickr.com (CCL)

My review of Oovoo.com, a Skype-like tool that allows you to video chat with up to six people at a time:

During our holiday in Cornwall, we visited Newquay, once a fishing village and now a prime destination for surfers from all over the world. The town sprawls down the clifftop nestled within several magnificent bays where the surf rides dramatically into shore. High cliffs circle the bays like fortress walls.

Just outside the main town, perched on the very edge of a soaring clifftop, is the historic Huers Hut. Made of stone, it looks like a white-washed domed temple that might just as easily have been in Greece. Its curved walls face the land while an open patio looks out to sea, a giant fireplace and chimney taking up most of space inside.

In the fourteenth century, this was where the huer would stand watch, gazing out to the vast ocean waiting for the pilchards. When he saw the shoals of fish, he would raise the hue and cry to alert the fishermen in the village and they would rush out to launch their boats and head to catch their precious livelihood. Standing on the cliff top, the huer would direct the boats towards the pilchards like a general mustering his army, using hand signals and calls.

The pilchards have declined and commercial fishing is not enough to sustain the people of Newquay. But “raising the hue and cry” remains.

I was on my way to work on the bus the other day when I passed a glass fronted shop with a curved awning. An arc of words across the large pane said, “Tony’s Cafe”. I couldn’t see clearly inside from where I sat on the double-decker but I knew it wasn’t a “café” but a “caff”.

A “café” (with a fancy French accent on the “e” and pronounced “caf-fay”) is where they serve fancy coffees like cappuccino and lattes and you sit in stylish chairs at carefully placed small tables and watch the world go by. Or write your novel on a shiny laptop. Or kiss your friends on both cheeks when they join you. Or read the latest Booker prize winner.

A “cafe” (with no fancy “e” on the end and pronounced “caff”) is where they serve tea so strong it puts hairs on your chest but they couldn’t make decent coffee to save their lives and they make great, greasy fry-up English breakfasts that will have you dropping dead at an early age and where you say “awright, mate?” when your friends come by or you sit and read a tabloid.

A café is in a fancy part of town like Covent Garden and a caff, like the one I passed, is in somewhere like the Walworth Road in South London.

In Malaysia, the equivalent of a “caff” is a coffeeshop where they make strong, sweet “kopi” or “teh” with evaporated or condensed milk and do mean fried noodles and “chicken chop”. Are there many of these left any more? Or have they all been globalised into Starbucks and Gloria Jeans Coffeehouse?

I love a café when I’m in the mood to be in my head and “un peu intellecto” as they might say in Paris. But I adore caffs and coffeeshops when I’m in the mood to be down-to-earth and scruffy and to eat some tasty fried food. Crispy bacon and sausages with fried eggs and baked beans and fried tomatoes and mushrooms on the side plus a couple of slices of toasted white bread dripping with butter – or better yet, fried bread! I’ll take that any day over a precious little croissant.

To borrow a line from Apocalypse Now, “I love the smell of frying bacon in the morning.”

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This is a new, occasional series on words and language. When I was a child, I loved reading the dictionary and learning new words. I loved their sounds and the depth and the layers of meaning waiting to be unwrapped. Words and language evolve all the time - from the clash of cultures when the Vikings and Germans and Normans invaded Britain through the Great Vowel Shift in medieval times to the local flavour that Commonwealth countries splash into their versions of English and the impact of new technologies and new sub-cultures on traditional usage. I hope you will take part in this series by sharing your experiences of how language is used wherever in the world you live and also suggesting words or aspects of language to explore.