I went on long run a few weekends ago and decided to leave my iPod behind for a change. It was a lovely sunny day and the birds were tweeting as I stepped out the door and I thought, wouldn’t it be lovely to listen to sounds of spring instead of to the techno music that usually powers me along! I hesitated for a moment, worried that I might get bored or lose the energy to carry me through my 10k (6 mile) run. Would I be able to keep going for an hour without music?
A few years ago, a number of friends recommended meditation to me as a way to relax, de-stress and clear one’s head. I liked the idea of Zen - with its associations of beautiful Buddhist gardens, wise souls contemplating eternity and a peaceful loving kindness approach to life. I had pictures in my mind of raking a sea of gravel around islands of rock, contemplating apple blossoms against an azure sky and facing adversity with a wise twinkle in my eye.
The trouble was that I could not sit still for long enough. I tried different ways to meditate and each time, I’d give up after a few sessions. The easiest was downloading some meditation podcasts from iTunes where a guru with a calm and sensuously relaxing voice talked you through the different stages of meditation practice, punctuated occasionally by the “ting” of a lovely bell. It was fairly pleasant as I sat in my darkened study, trying to picture a candle flame being still. But I’d get restless and the single candle flame would light up into bright city lights. Or I would feel rested momentarily but when I got up again, it was as if the stillness had never been.
Then I joined a Buddhist meditation class meeting once a week after work. I’d rush there in a fluster and join the others, shoeless and perched on cushions while the teacher led us through the meditations with reassuring loving kindness and calm, dinging on a singing bowl from time to time. Again, it was pleasant enough and I was really impressed by the Zen-like nature of the teacher and the other experienced Buddhists. But after a few sessions, I found the more religious aspects of the practice like chanting and the codified concepts not to my taste and it was difficult to prioritise going to the class - it reminded me too much of bible study and hymn singing but with tunes I didn’t know…
I respect the values of mindfulness, being present, loving kindness, detachment, recognising transience and change and so on. But it’s the doctrinal side of any organised group that I always have difficulty bonding with. So while I’ve carried on reading and learning where I could about philosophy and spirituality in a Buddhist as well as other contexts, I haven’t pursued formal Buddhist meditation since those classes.
I started to think about these attempts at meditation that sunny day as I trundled along, heading to a big park in the next suburb to mine. Without music pounding in my ears, I had been listening to the sound of the breeze, the singing of the birds and the rustle of leaves in the trees. I was aware of cars passing by, the voices of kids, people talking as I whizzed by them. I felt the warm sun on my face and body and was consciously trying to maintain a good running form - tail tucked in, shoulders straight, head and back upright, feet landing mid-sole and not ahead of my chin, pushing back with the balls of my feet. I was aiming to breathe rhythmically from the bottom of my lungs, keeping one eye as always on my heart rate monitor to make sure I was not over- or under-exerting.
In many ways, it was like meditating, really. Taking care of posture is a big thing in meditation practice. As is rhythmic, deep breathing. And being aware of the sounds around you, being present in your whole body and whole mind. Up till that day, running with music had been calming and slightly hypnotic, rather like listening to chanting or drums, I suppose as you meditate - and I think that’s why I’ve really been enjoying running in the last year. But on this first long run without music, I was experiencing a different calm and different rhythmic hypnotic state - the rhythm came from my own breathe and the pace/ drumming of my own legs. I really loved it! And, yes, as it turns out, I did get through my 10k run - and completed it in 1 hour 8 minutes, which is a pretty good pace for me.
I realised then that there are different ways to meditate. I remembered reading about the Marathon Monks of Japan who run 40k a day for 100 days as part of their spiritual practice. And the martial arts of the East are also ways of meditating, with their emphasis on breathing, posture and stillness as well as being grounded in Buddhist philosophy. It seems obvious, really, that you can find meditation is movement as well as in stillness. But I suppose with meditation classes and teachings focused around on stillness and sitting and martial arts and running training focused on physical skillsets, it takes a little longer to make the connection.
So I am going to run to the sounds of the suburbs for the next little while and see how I get on. I may be along way from Nirvana but I rather like the thought of running my way there…
Photo: thanks to Allard One from flickr.com (CCL)
Posted by Alex Yang (pen name of Yang-May Ooi) on Wednesday, March 24th, 2010 at 2:00am