Thanks to everyone….

…. who sent me get well wishes while I was laid up with flu - via emails, comments on this blog and also Facebook. Don’tcha just love social media? Since anyone who engaged with me face to face would be risking their own health, virtual contact was the best way to cheer me up while I was stuck at home germ-ridden and infectious.

While I was languishing on the sofa, wrapped in a duvet with a hot toddy close at hand, watching rubbish TV, I was struck by how in movies everyone is healthy and if someone starts exhibiting the slightest symptom of anything, you know it’s going to end in tears.

Coughing - if any character in a movie coughs, they will be dead by the next reel. It’s going to be lung cancer, TB or in costume drama, the dreaded influenza. See the Ewan McGregor character in Miss Potter: the moment he coughs on that rainy train platform, it’s “uh-oh” for a happy ending.

Headaches - headaches can only mean one thing: a brain tumour. See Dr Green in ER.

Looking pale and fainting - cancer. See any movie involving a beautiful star playing a mom or a daughter, usually while having a difficult mom-daughter relationship.

The exception is sneezing. A character sneezing is funny for some reason and will be in sweat pants, surrounded by tissues and talking funny (fuddy) through a bunged-up nose (dose).

If you can think of any more examples of movie or TV illnesses, please add a comment so we can compile a definitive list of life-threatening illnesses diagnosed from minor symptoms….

Photo: thanks to yarnivore on flickr.com (CCL)